Gathan Beaga

rural scandal

Having now also analysed the new Hilux ad with my Dad a farmer who shall remain nameless for security reasons, I have some new information to share.

There is apparently a perfectly good explanation for the fact that the bulls in the ad sound Australian – it’s because they’re mongrels. Although they look to me like good old purebred Angus bulls, to those with an eye for these things they’re not actually purebred at all. Apparently their noses are not dark enough, and the suggestion is that they’re really some sort of Jersey cross.

Secondly, it is said that the use of bulls of an Angus appearance has caused some consternation over at Ford, who are big sponsors of the Angus Breeders society. Ford probably need to take a chill pill, I think. Some latte-sipping advertising drones probably just modelled the first random male cattle they could find for the CGI used in the ad. Not likely to be intended to annoy Ford. Unless…

Lastly, that ram, cursed by the bulls as a “sheep-shagger”, is not a realistic depiction. No ram worth his weight in dog-tucker would bother turning and facing a farmer’s truck while the others ran off. No. Instead, he’d be shepherding his, er, lady friends off to some secluded spot where he could get busy without being disturbed. (My source says this is what Perendales are particularly good at, but I think he might be biased.)

So the ram is not much of a sheep-shagger at all, really, which in turn makes him pretty piss-poor at his job. And in fact, he’s probably not even real, with my source expressing some doubt that non-merino rams with those kind of horns exist in this country. Just some urbanite’s conception of what a ram should look like.

Remember, you heard it all here, first.

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