OK you people, listen up. We been investigating a series of grisly murders.

The M.O. for each killing was exactly the same: the killer staked out the window, waiting for the victim to fly into reach. Each victim was then torn limb from limb and eaten alive. The killer leaves just a broken husk on the windowsill. Yeah, I know, it’s the worst since the Mortein Murders a while back. We have to catch the perp before they strike again.

This is a recent surveillance photo of the prime suspect. We think she’s female; with eight limbs and huge fangs; and in real need of a Ladyshave. We’ll call her “Diana”. Take a good look, people.

Here’s “Diana” again. She wanders the street all hours. Here she seems to be shopping for children’s clothes. However, we understand she may have priors for baby eating. I’ll be detailing one of you to follow this up at the local library.

Unfortunately she spotted our surveillance operative. Now we see demonstrated “Diana’s” aggressiveness.

At this point she physically attacked the camera, attempting to destroy it by jumping on it, before making her escape.

Obviously the suspect is not to be approached. We’ll be continuing our more low key surveillance over the next couple days.

I think we all know what we gotta do. And in the meantime, be safe out there.