Gathan Beaga

in which some vanity surfing finds my internet nemesis

Of course, everyone does it.

Go on, type your own name into Google. How many results in the top 10 relate to you? As at today, six of the top 10 for Alan Macdougall relate to me. I’ve been on the Internet for over 11 years now, and my trail is everywhere. Which is a little scary. [One should always vanity surf before applying for new jobs, so that you know what Google knows about you. And I guess it’s a bit late now to regret that series of Usenet news postings in 1994 to alt.leather-working.deviant.]

But… recently I’ve found that the top two spots are owned by Milwaukee web designer and part time scribbler Alan MacDougall. And he knows it. Smug bastard. For back in October last year, in the comments to one of his blog postings, he said:

As I said in a previous rap: “Google my name, I’m the first result.”

Unless that fucker from New Zealand has leapt ahead of me again. Just get off the internet, dude!

So, back at you, Mr MacDougall: “Hey! You’re talking about me, man! It may be true that I’m a fucker (I have two children, so it’s pretty likely I can be assigned that label at least twice) but I’m not making way for you on the internet. I am staying, right here!”

Take that!

I wanted to get really down on him, but hey, he’s got a posse. And one of them is on station in that new American dustbowl, Iraq. I don’t know anyone near as tooled up, so I gotta be careful.

But I will have the last laugh. At present, my Google pagerank is a not too shabby 5; whereas his is a measly 3. Therefore it hopefully shouldn’t take too much to push half-pie ahead of his site. Let the scheming begin.

Of course, me even linking to him increases his pagerank slightly… but hey, I’m a generous guy. A good winner is always generous.

And I’ve got a posse too.