Gathan Beaga

Future Feed Forward

Feel the need for a sci-fi version of The Onion? Look no further – here’s Future Feed Forward:

Hibernating Actor Uncovered on Antiques Roadshow. October 1, 2132
MALIBU—A Malibu, California woman was surprised to learn Friday during a taping of PBS’s popular Antiques Roadshow that an unusual wardrobe stored for more than fifty years in her aunt’s attic is in fact a high-tech, bio-preservation chamber containing hibernating television actor David Schwimmer. “I’m as shocked as anyone,” exclaims the woman. “I have no idea where [my aunt] would have gotten something like this. I doubt she even knew what she had.”

Apparently these are news items from the future: there’s one from the year 2157 in which Larry Ellison sinks off the coast of New Zealand. Larry is to be the “first human/yacht hybrid to compete in the prestigious America’s Cup.” Sounds like by 2157 the America’s Cup might actually be interesting.