Gathan Beaga

12 reasons why not to get an iPhone

So I have this list, mostly to convince myself. The reasons for are legion; the reasons against I need to remind myself of. I’ll share them, just in case they’re useful for you, too.

  1. My current phone is OK – actually, it’s quite good and small, and as a phone is excellent.
  2. I have a perfectly cool iPod Touch – it does everything that the iPhone does (well, except for the phone bit… oh, and the GPS stuff… and the pervasive net connection… STOP!).
  3. I’ve just re-signed to Vodafone on my existing plan – so I’d have to break the plan, causing a penalty, to take up any potential special iPhone plan.
  4. It’s expensive – New Zealand always gets reamed on the relative prices of gadgets, regardless of prices overseas.
  5. The iPhone camera is crap – 2 megapixel? PAH! I have my eye on a phone with 5 megapixels.
  6. They’re going to be so popular soon that it’ll be more of a statement NOT to have one – so I can be a rebel without spending a cent.
  7. Vodafone would take my firstborn to cover the data charges – or if I’m lucky, just a few pints of blood.
  8. the new iPhone has a built in GPS chip – so THEY would be able to track my every move, and the black helicopters behind the Orongorongos would be able to sweep in at any moment.
  9. All the networked iPhones will collectively host an emergent AI – which will beam brain-scrambling rays into the brains of users.
  10. Making them faceless members of Steve Jobs’ zombie horde – shambling around the streets searching for free wi-fi access points.
  11. On the plus side – I suppose the zombie hordes will target Redmond first.
  12. Giving me enough time to train as a ninja – clad in tin foil, to SAVE THE WORLD!

So as you can see, lots of good reasons for not buying an iPhone.